Where was I?
To confess, I felt horrible. Anyone who has been visiting hulag since it started might already be mystified on my capacity to keep sailing this blog that they thought I embarked with high motivating energy yet currently sinks in a synonymously procrastinating frequency of posting. In fact, I have not been procrastinating in the past days, it is just that I could hardly meet my tops that it won't be difficult for any reader to confuse I have been one. I went to the hospital and made my first duty as a post graduate medical intern, a 1 year training requirement prior to taking the medical board exam. My hospital duty is in a 3-day cycle: 24 hours + 8 hours + 8 hours of work in 72 hours (3 days). And that would be my living cycle be in most of the 366 days (2008 is a leap year). I would most of the time have 32 hours left for bathing, eating, sleeping, commuting, and of course blogging. But I don't want to enclose learning to just hospital practice and so I'll take a quarter of that 32 hours for studying. I have to confess, I can't promise to post as frequent as before. Ngyawww... Down went my vehicle against procrastination. But don't sit back for a landing. We haven't soared up to any point yet. Ride on to my none-wits (if all this graphics might mean that to you). There are personal frailties to be revealed. And speaking of frailties, where was I exactly? I had been hanging around in a place where people kept cheering on other people to live against odds. Smile. I found medicine that way.
Where am I now?
To this specific time point, I'm tapping the keyboard while challenging stress to stimulate myself to write now and pull away from my near programmed life. It is fun meeting feelings like this to marvel about like 3-year old circling lips to a big big OHHH! My mind is busy thinking about rest, securing a nowhere Shangri-la to blow its container through. I wonder on other people also desiring such perfect world that If they can't be in it over this living space, they wish be in it in their post dying space. You probably met words like Nirvana, Heaven, Jannah, Elysian Fields, and Glastheim, Goloka, but has anyone who traveled there returned to earth anyway? Are they just virtual spaces in one’s mind to motivate him to move towards perfection? Or rather we living creatures are just in a virtual space and the ones we desire are the real one? Matrix? The parody of real disillusionment. I critic utopia, the equal world, as a perfect boredom bringer. I believe it is in the unfairness of life where we develop selves, where we display emotions, where we experiment art, where we discover science, where we can consider we are not just space occupying structures in the impartiality of time. But I will break out of that topic realizing just doing it is a utopian perspective. Even breaking from it out of such realization is still utopian... out and over. I think I mentioned utopia too much. And that's not utopian anymore. As of now I am in a world where people create rather than find their own altars and live in it. And make sure to do their best in it to make this word “altar” far from a misnomer.
Where will I be?
To secure uncertainty, don't know where to go from here despite how programmed my life seemed to be. Asking where is not as easy as filling the blank beyond the section ADDRESS:___ which one might answered over and over in hundreds or at least near a hundred of birth certificates, school admission sheets, student ID's, work application forms, calling cards, e-sign ups, electric bills, hospital records, legal affidavits, raffle promos, mortuary insurance loans, and finally death certificates. I believe the laws of motion is will be move to less than a law, the Koch's postulate is left as a postulate, and game theory will remain a marketing game. We sure live in an unpermanent, unsecure, unfair phase of truth (if you consider your world an origami of folding and unfolding truths). But whatever truth is or wherever truth will uncertify us, it is still on our own power to discern unreality and to opt to be real. I don't know life beyond the biological sense that much but I'll try to. That’s why probably I chose medicine as my altar. I will always be into this art of cheering on other people to live against odds. And I'm certain that uncertainty beyond living will not be certified in the future.
When is my next post but when is my next post? I'm still uncertain but I certify you won't feel sorry visiting my blog.
This post is third of a 7-part ellipsis series.
No comments:
Post a Comment